


We Can't

by avengersandchill



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 1940s, Bucky needs a hug, F/M, Mention of Death, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Time Travel, World War II, or two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-15 02:52:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11796909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avengersandchill/pseuds/avengersandchill
Summary: You find yourself in the 1940s and meet Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. What you didn’t know was that you would find yourself falling for both of them. It’s up to you to find out who you belong to. Either way, a few hearts may be broken along the way, including yours.Originally posted: February 18th, 2016





	1. Prologue

Since you were born, you had the ability to manipulate time. At first, you used that ability to do your homework without studying, but through practice, you were able to expand your powers. For instance, when your mom dropped her coffee, you were able to freeze the coffee in time before it hit the ground. It got to the point you were able to travel through time. It was quite spectacular. The first time you did it, you traveled 10 years before you were born. Luckily, you were able to go back to your proper time with ease.  

Ever since you were little, your parents secluded you from the outside, in order to keep you safe from the people who were afraid of the unknown. You loved your mom and dad so much. You spent everyday with them. You were homeschooled, meaning you didn’t know much about the outside world. You didn’t need best friends, for they were your best friends.

However, HYDRA ruined that when they tried to kidnap you to use you as a weapon. Your parents hid you in the basement to try to protect you. When you heard their screams and gunshots, your body had shut down. You screamed in pain knowing what happened, leading you to travel back to the year of 1926- 90 years to the past.

You didn’t return to your time. If you went back, the men would take you away and your parents sacrifice would be worth nothing. Ever since, you started to limit your usage of powers. Who knew if there were men like HYDRA during this time. Either way, you weren’t going to risk it.

You were only eight at the time and were placed into an orphanage. Fortunately, a lovely couple from a wealthy home adopted you. You promised to yourself that you would protect your new parents and make sure that the same thing doesn’t happen to them.

You adjusted well in the 1940s. You had an enhanced education, but seeing as you were only eight when you left the future, you didn’t know too much of the past. You were just like every other kid, attending school and playing outside with all of the others. By the time you were 16, you fully adjusted to this time and had full control of your powers. Sometimes, you forgot you even had these powers, because you haven’t used your powers since you came to the 40s.

 

But you can’t, and you never will.


	2. Chapter One

After a particularly long day of school, all you wanted to do was go home and read. Reading was one of your relaxing methods. You were about to leave the school grounds when you saw a couple of boys picking on a scrawny looking fella, so you started heading over to their direction. A big, tough one just punched the little guy, knocking him down while the other just laughed. Instead of staying down, the kid got right back up, fists in the air and blood on his lips. **  
**

Before the guy could land another punch on him, you caught his arm, swinging it to make him face you instead. “Hey, pick on someone your own size,” you reprimanded.

The brawny guy just scoffed, glancing at his friend who just smirked in the background. “Sweetheart, I wouldn’t have punched the guy if he just kept his mouth shut. Now, why don’t you just run alon-”

Before he could finish his sentence, you punched him square in the face, sending him tumbling to the ground.  _Shit, did that hurt._  The jerk stumbled to his feet, wiping his nose with his hand. He looked down at his hand to see blood. Quickly looking up at you, he then running away with his friend closely following.

Once he turned the corner, your tough facade broke. “Ow,” you whimpered while waving you hand back and forth. You rubbed your stinging knuckles, which were turning red. You felt a pair of eyes gawking at you. You looked up to see the skinny guy staring at you.

He cleared his voice then stated, “Umm. Thanks ma’m for helping me. I had them on the ropes though.”

You playfully laughed at his statement, trying not to hurt the little guy’s ego. “Sure you did,” you responded. “Name’s Y/N”

“Steve, Steve Rogers,” he stated. You noticed his lip was still bleeding, on contrast to his pale skin.

“Well, Steve Rogers,” you said, tucking a loose hair strand behind your ear. “Your lip is bleeding. Sit down, and I’ll fix you right up,” you stated, motioning to the bench. Without any reluctance, Steve sat down. You sat down beside him, pulling a handkerchief out of your purse. You wrapped it around your finger and gently dabbed his lip at the source of the bleeding. “So Steve, what did you say that got you into a fist fight with those two meatballs?”

Steve huffed his chest and exhaled loudly. You were trying not to laugh at this. He then explained, “The idiots were being mighty disrespectful to these two ladies passing by. I was trying to set them right. No one should talk about a woman like that.”

You smiled at this, “Well, aren’t you altruistic.”

He tried to return the smile but winced when he opened up his cut on his lips. You dabbed his lip again at the drops of blood continuing to come out of his cut. From your peripheral vision, you saw Steve watching you with his gentle, blue eyes. The corners of his lips quirked up. “So what’s a dame like you punching a guy twice her size?” Steve pondered.

You giggled at his nickname for you, shyly looking down to put your handkerchief back into your purse. “I don’t like bullies,” you simply stated. He raised his eyebrows, stunned by your statement. You shrugged your shoulders.

“Well, aren’t you altruistic,” Steve repeated back to you. You laughed and playfully shoved his shoulder. Steve joined your laughter with a chuckle.

Your laughter was interrupted by a brunette who was approaching the bench where you and Steve were sitting at. “Steve,” he called. “Where were you? We have to head back if we want to-” Steve’s friend stopped his scolding when his eyes landed on you.

“Madam,” Bucky greeted with a curt nod.

“Bucky,” Steve introduced. “This is Y/N.”

Bucky responded, “And how did a punk like Steve meet such a lovely dame like you?” Again with the nickname. You felt heat rise up on your cheeks.

“Well, believe it or not, but this punk was getting beat up by these two meatballs, and-”

Bucky’s shoulders went tense and his eyes darted towards Steve. “Again Steve. It’s like you’re asking to get beat up,” he interrupted.

Steve stated proudly, “Well, I only ended up with a split lip thanks to Y/N. She punched the guy square in the face.”

Bucky cocked his head slightly and stared at you with wide-eyes. “Y/N?” he asked gesturing to you. “Like this Y/N?”

You smirked at his antics. “Yes, me Y/N. Why is that so hard to believe?”

Bucky quickly explained, “No, no no. That’s not what I meant. It’s just that, usually, I’m the one saving Steve.” Bucky looked at Steve longingly, like a brother. “Thanks Y/N. This punk is always getting himself into trouble.”

You giggled. “I can see that.”

* * *

From then on, you, Steve, and Bucky were best friends. Bucky usually saved Steve from fist fights, and you usually patched Steve up. You never reprimanded Steve; it was always Bucky. But Steve would always say, “I don’t like bullies,” while smiling at you. You always returned the smile, honored that Steve repeated the same words you once said to him.

You three were inseparable. That was until your dad had an amazing job offer, which took you and your family to Chicago, Illinois. You and your mother couldn’t stay in Brooklyn, because your father was your main source of income. But before you departed, your father promised you that you guys would move back after his job was done. This was only supposed to last for six months, but it was prolonged to a year. You kept in touch with the boys through correspondence. But it wasn’t as often as you would have liked it to be, and you missed them dearly. They were the brothers you never had, and year away from them was so long.

When your father announced your moving-back, you were ecstatic. You missed New York, you missed your girl friends, and most importantly, you missed your boys. You changed a lot in Chicago, both physically and mentally. You weren’t the same Y/N that left Brooklyn a year ago. Chicago was good for you. You had some amazing friends and actually dated a few guys.

Currently, you were in the cab with your parents, sitting in the backseat with your mother. You were nervous about seeing them again. You changed a lot, but so did they. Hopefully, they didn’t change too much. What if you guys changed too much? Will everything be different when you return? You were dreading this, because you hoped that you guys will still be the same.

“Y/N?” your mom’s voice broke you away from your thoughts.

You squeezed your eyes shut and shook your head, trying to return to the real world. “I’m sorry Mom. Can you repeat that?”

The corners of the your mother’s lips quirked up. She repeated, “Your father was asking you if you remembered to pack your books.”

You eyebrows furrowed when answering, “Of course Daddy! They were the first things I packed.”

Your dad responded, “Okay darling, just making sure. I know you would be devastated if you left them in Chicago.” He paused, before asking with a smile on his lips, “What’s got your head in the clouds, gumdrop?”

Before you can come up with an excuse, your mother smirked knowingly, “She’s dreaming about those two boys again.”

“Mom,” you whined.

Your dad ignored your whine and asked, “What boys?”

You quickly inserted, “Steve Rogers and James Barnes,” making sure your mother wouldn’t add anything else you didn’t want your father knowing. You don’t even know how she knows.

Your dad stated, “OhhhH. What happened to Adam?”

You blantly explained, “We broke up. No way we can stay together, now that we are living in two different cities.” You smoothened down your skirt.

Your mother pondered, “Is that why you never got together with Steve or James?”

Your head shot up and you complained, “Nooo. We’re just friends. I see them like brothers.”

“That was before your left though. You guys are at the age of dating now. Maybe things will change,” your mom added.

You stated, “I’m not discussing my love life with you guys. We’re just friends period.” You looked out your window again to show you were done with this conversation. You started to recognize the buildings you were driving by. Boy, did you miss Brooklyn.

When the car stopped in front of your old apartment complex, you jumped out of the car. You promised the boys that you would visit them first thing when you arrived. You turned to face the car. “I’m going to Steve’s,” you reminded your parents.

You then started to head over to Steve’s. You were half walking and half running. You couldn’t run, not used to wearing heels on Brooklyn streets. It was one of the many things that changed about you. While at Chicago, you started to wear heels, makeup, and more flattering dresses with your more mature body type.

You walked through the streets, knowing exactly where to go. You walked to Steve’s and Bucky’s houses so many times, that you know the way like the back of your hand. Steve’s apartment complex finally came to your view. You quickly climbed up the stairs to his door. You knocked on the door anxiously.

Steve’s mother Sarah was the one to open the door. Her pale figure came to view, as she opened the door. “Y/N L/N? Is that you?” Sarah happily asked. “Look how you’ve grown,” she stated, placing her hands on your upper arms.

You hugged Sarah while stating, “Hi Mrs. Rogers. I missed you so much.”

Sarah pulled away from the hug, which you followed in pursuit. “I missed you too,” she said while placing her hand on your cheek. “The boys are right inside. They are excited to see you too. They are going to be blown away from how much you grown.”

“I hope they changed too,” you joked.

Sarah said, “Bucky grew a lot. More muscles and charm. But still the same Bucky. Steve grew in height, but he’s still my little angel.” You smiled at this. “Come on in.” She turned around and entered the house.

You walked into the apartment. It was small, so right away you saw the two boys on the couch. Bucky’s hair was less curly and had a clean cut look. He was taller. It looks like he has a foot in height on you. His face was more defined with a jawline that could cut glass and perfect cheekbones.

Steve grew too, but not as much as Bucky. His hair was more dark, compared to his blonde hair he had back then. It was more of a dirty blonde now. His facial structure was just as defined, but it wasn’t as brooding as Bucky’s. It was more gentle. You noticed all this in just a few seconds. You were approaching the couch they were sitting at.

Sarah announced, “Boys, Y/N is here.” She then stepped out of the way, so the boys could see you. They haven’t noticed you when you arrived, and then they did. They really did. Steve checked you out like how men would do on the streets. Bucky did a double-take. You felt heat rise up to your cheeks. It’s as if time slowed down. You shook your head, trying to grasp onto reality and gain control of yourself.

“Y/N!” Bucky hollered. “Wow, look at you.” He took your hand and spinned you around to get a view of the new you. You chuckled at his antics.

“Same goes to you,” you stated. “Look at you. You’re so much taller now.” You pretended to measure how much taller he was than you. Placing a hand on his bicep, you joked, “And look at those muscles. Been working out?”

Bucky flexed a little under your touch. With a smirk on his lips, he said, “Maybe.”

You turned your attention from Bucky to Steve who stood up and is now standing next to you. You and Steve were the same height with your heels on. He looked the same but had a handsome look as well. “Stevie,” you exclaimed, hugging him, trying to make up the past year without them. He returned the hug and chuckled into your hair, “Hey Y/N. You look beautiful. I missed you.”

“I missed you,” you muttered into his neck. You pulled back and looked at Bucky. “Both of you,” you stated.

Bucky opened up his arms and said, “Come here doll”. You ran into his arms and gave him a hug as well.

“So how have you guys been while I was gone?” you asked curiously.

Bucky answered while heading back to the couch, “We’re the same. Steve still gets into fights, and I don’t patch him up as well as you do. But we manage.” Bucky dropped to the couch with a thump. You and Steve followed, you sitting in between them. “How about you? How was Chicago?”

You answered with a half-smile, “Chicago was good. It’s not Brooklyn if that’s what you want to hear. I made a lot of friends, but I missed you guys a lot.”

Steve playfully joked, “Any boyfriends that we need to beat up?”

You carefully thought about what to say next, not wanting to upset the boys. “Well, yes. But he was really sweet and good to me. The only reason why we stopped dating was me moving back here.”

Steve’s face fell, but quickly left just as fast as it came. “That’s great.”

You turned to face Bucky. His jaw was clenched. You tried changing the subject. “How about you guys? Any girls you have taken interest in?” You already knew the answer, but you asked anyways.

“Yeah, Steve and I have gone on quite a few double dates. Some really nice dames,” Bucky answered.

“Oh. That’s great,” you said, just like how Steve expressed his emotions. Of course they would go on dates. It’s been a year. But why did you feel so disappointed? You guys were just friends. It didn’t matter if they dated or not. “So tell me what’s going on in your guys’ life?”

And just like that, it was like old times. You guys talked as if you guys have seen each other just yesterday. You three joked around and told each other stories to make up lost time. The conversation was easy going and all your fears were being washed away.

After a few hours of talking, you had to head back to your apartment. You promised your parents you would be back well before the sun sets to help unpack.

“Well,” you said. “I think it’s time for me to head out. I should be back by now.” You got up from the couch, and the boys followed.

“I’m so glad your back,” Steve said, pulling you into a hug. You returned the hug and smiled. You felt as if your heart was full again. Like you retrieved something that you didn’t even know you were missing.

“I’m so glad to be back,” you said, pulling away from the hug to hug Bucky. “Same time tomorrow?”

“Of course doll,” Bucky stated. You gave him a small smile, which he returned.

You got onto your tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. This was something you usually did when saying goodbye to the boys. But this time was different. Your heart was beating rapidly, and your stomach has erupted with what felt like butterflies.

You turned to do the same to Steve. It was easier with him, for he was the same height so you didn’t have to reach to kiss his cheek. You pulled away. You noticed that his cheeks were turning red. You quickly headed to the exit and opened the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow, “ you said with with a smile and your hand on the handle.

“Bye Y/N,” Bucky said. You smiled and walked out the door, closing the door behind you.

As you were walking back home, you still felt butterflies in your stomach. You were worried that you would be strangers after all that time lost. You did not expect this.

You had a crush on Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. And boy, were you in trouble. You knew you can’t go back from this.


	3. Chapter Two

Shaking your head with disapproval, you accused, “My parents did it again,”, covering your face with your hands. You were sitting on the Bucky’s couch.

Steve smiled at your exaggerated shenanigans. “What did they do this time?” he asked while rubbing your lower back.

“They bought me an… apartment,” you stated, moving your fingers aside to see the boys’ reaction. You were fortunate enough to have loving, caring parents that pay for anything you need. But as stuck up as this sounds, you wanted to buy your apartment yourself; be independent and stop relying on your parents’ income. You felt bad complaining for you knew that Steve and Bucky were just getting by with their rents. Everytime you or your parents offer to help, they refuse.

“An apartment?” Bucky said with wide eyes. His mouth was agape, and he was staring at you with disbelief.

You sighed and leaned with your elbows placed on your knees. “It’s their nice way of telling me that they want me out of their apartment. I guess Daddy’s job is taking him out of town again, and instead of dragging me along, they bought me an apartment complex,” you explained.

Steve asked curiously, “What’s the problem with that?” You turned to face him and you saw a smile across his lips. “That means you don’t have to leave us again,” he continued.

“Yeah,” you sighed with a half-smile. “I’m happy about that. But I don’t know if I can live on my own. I can barely take care of a goldfish; let alone myself. Maybe I’ll get a roommate. Though I hate women, they are too clingy and needy. Maybe a guy.”

Bucky addressed rather brotherly, “Nuh-uh. You are not getting a male roommate. It would be too inappropriate. Any guy living with a pretty thing like you means trouble.”

Steve added, “I agree with Bucky” placing his hand over yours and giving it a quick squeeze.

You heavily sighed, “Well, who else am I supposed to live with?” You leaned back on the couch and stared at the ceiling, hoping an answer would be written on the plaster. Then, it came to you. “What if you guys live with me?” you asked. “I mean we already hangout with each other 24/7.”Bucky and Steve gave you a look with hesitance. They would love to, but they had commitments themselves.

“Please,” you pleaded. “The apartment is already paid for, and I’ll pay for food and utilities. I just don’t want to live on my own. And I can’t imagine living with anyone else than my boys.” You then gave them the look. You rounded your eyes and pouted your lips. As a cherry on the top of the already pleasing sundae, you scooted off the couch, sitting on the floor. Then interlaced your fingers together in a pleading position.

“I’ll have to ask my mom,” Steve started. You squealed in delight and leaped on the couch to hug him. Chuckling in your hair, Steve returned the hug, wrapping his arms around your waist.

You then pulled away from the hug to look at Bucky for his answer. Bucky smiled and answered, “I’d be honored to live with you two dorks. I think my parents wouldn’t mind me leaving. I’d be out of their hair.”

You yelped, “Yay!” while tackling Bucky in a hug as well.

* * *

After a couple of weeks and lots of packing and unpacking, you guys were officially moved into your guys’ apartment. It was great. There were a few mishaps and fights, but they were always over simple, stupid stuff that would resolve with ease. However, it was getting harder and harder to get over them. With each passing minute, you were falling more and more in love with them. How can you not?

So how did you fix try to solve this problem? You went on dates. Like tonight, you had a date with this boy from your school. His name was John, and he was in your English class. He was sweet and smart and conversations with him came with ease, but he was also super flirtatious. That’s why you were surprised he asked you out on a date. He flirted with you just like he did with every girl in your school, but you took a chance and agreed on the date, which was tonight.

However, you lost track of time while studying for a history test, and next thing you knew, you had 40 minutes until he was picking you up. Bucky and Steve were still out, leaving you alone in the house, so no one was there to remind you of the time.

You quickly closed your books and jumped up from the kitchen table to prepare for your date. You took a quick shower. Luckily, there was still hot water left, making your shower pleasing. But you couldn’t stay in there for too long. After the shower, you stepped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around your body.

Before going to your room, you went to the kitchen to get a sip of water. Showers always made you thirsty, and it wasn’t smart to drink water after you put lipstick on. You exited the bathroom, the cold air of the apartment hitting your still wet skin. Drops of water was dripping off your hair onto the floor. You walked to the kitchen counter and filled a glass with water from the sink. You were sipping it down, when you heard the door of the apartment open. Shit. You lose your grip on the cup but quickly used your powers to stop the cup from falling. Your eyes on the door, you see Bucky and Steve were coming in, mid-conversation. You hastily grabbed the cup, so it was no longer suspended in the air, mid-fall. You heard their conversation stop when they noticed you standing in just a towel in the kitchen.

You placed the cup in the sink and tightened your grip on the towel. You felt heat rise up to your cheeks. “Hi guys,” you uttered. “You guys are back early.”

Eyes not leaving your half-naked body, Bucky stammered, “We finished up early, and we wanted to make sure we were home before you left for your date.”

Your eyes shifted to Steve, who was looking everywhere but at you. “Oh okay,” you sputtered. “Well, I’m going to get ready now.” You quickly walked to your room and closed the door behind you. You leaned on the door, completely in shock of what just happened. This was the first time you used your power since you got here. You had to have better control of it, or it can ruin everything you created since you arrived. But you were mostly focusing on how embarrassed you were being caught like that. It’s been months since you guys moved in together, but everything has been in sync. It felt as if a thousand of butterflies were flying in your stomach. You tried to shake off the feeling. This was the reason why you were going on a date.

Knowing that you only had so much time, you rebounded from the incident pretty fast and got ready. You completely dried off and slipped into a navy blue dress with a peter pan collar. You then did your makeup, eyeliner, mascara, then lipstick. You finally put your hair in a classic updo and put your white heels on. You checked your clock to see John will be arriving at anytime. While putting earring on, you grabbed your clutch and placed it under your arm and walked out of your room.

You finished putting your earring on and straightened out your dress. You grabbed your clutch from under your arm, and stated, “Okay guys. I’m heading out. I’ll be back in a few.” You looked up to see Bucky and Steve were sitting on the couch.

Steve turned to your direction and responded, “Okay. Have fun.”

Buck added, “And don’t forget. If he does anything out of line, punch him square in the face.” He smiled at this, but you could see that he was quite serious.

You chuckled, “I will.” You opened the door. “Bye guys.” They gave a bye back. You closed the door behind you and headed down for your date.

* * *

To say your date was bad would be an understatement. While on your date, John was flirting with 3 other girls. Obviously, he was not the right guy for you. You walked into your apartment heavy-hearted. You leaned onto the door, flinging your heels off your feet. Bucky was at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper. You trudged across the room and flung yourself onto the couch with a thump.

You threw your arm across your face, covering your eyes. Releasing a loud sigh, you hear Bucky chuckle from across the room.

You lifted your head to see Bucky put down his newspaper. “Bad date?” he asked.

“The worst,” you responded, covering your eyes again.

You heard shifting in the room and footsteps heading towards you. Lifting your legs up, Bucky sat down next to you, placing your legs on his laps. “Wanna talk about it?”

You sat up, but your feet still remained on his lap. “It seems like I only attract knuckleheads,” you exasperated. “Since I’ve been back in Brooklyn, I’ve only been dating meatballs. Why is that? Do I only draw attention to the wrong kind of guys?”

Bucky started massaging your ankles, trying to relieve some of your stress. “Of course not, Y/N,” he comforted. “Any guy would be lucky to have you as their girl.”

Your shoulders dropped, and you scoffed, “So why can’t I find the right guy?”

Bucky said just barely above a whisper, “Maybe he’s been right in front of you all along.”

Stunned, you looked up at Bucky, but he was staring down at his feet. You responded with a low voice, “What do you mean?” Your heart was racing, and all you wanted was his answer. You wanted time to go by faster, but you knew you couldn’t. You wouldn’t do that to Bucky, so instead, you looked at him, waiting for an answer.

After a few seconds of silence, he turned to face you. He grabbed your hands from your lap and intertwined his fingers with yours. He stated, “Y/N, I would be honored if you would go on a date with me.” You gave him a half-smile, which gave him the courage to continue. “I’ve watched you grow up in such an amazing person, and I love spending time with you. You always seem to bring a smile to my face when I’m feeling down. And I’m not just asking you this because I saw you half-naked earlier today…”

You two shared a laugh, while you looked down at your intertwined hands. Then back at him, where he was gazing at you longingly. “Y/N, will you go on a date with me?” He gave you one of his charming smiles, that made you and any girl weak in the knees.

A smile plastered on your face, and you could only say one thing. “Yes.” You leaped into his arms, and his arms wrapped around your waist. You stayed like that for a while, in each other’s embrace.

You two can’t imagine being anywhere else besides in each other’s arms.


	4. Chapter Three

Dating Bucky was almost effortless. Having been best friends already, Bucky knew all your flaws and you knew his, so there were no speed bumps in the relationship. You were expecting the transition to be weird and awkward, but it was surprisingly easy. Your relationship remained the same, only a few factors changed. Mornings held chaste kisses, nights held whispers of sweet nothings, and days held wonderful dates and hand holding.

You were currently going on a double date with him and Steve. Apparently, Bucky had found someone named Amy that he thought would be perfect for Steve. How Bucky knew this girl? You had no clue, but you tried not to dwell on the subject, not wanting to be the clingy girlfriend.

Steve, Bucky, and you were walking down the streets on your way to the theaters where the date would be held. Amy was suppose to meet you guys there. When you guys arrived at the theater, you spotted a girl who you supposed was Amy looking around for you guys.

She finally spotted the three of you. Amy started approaching you guys. “Bucky!” she exclaimed, raising her hand in greeting. Amy was an inch or two taller than you, meaning that she was taller than Steve as well. She had a little too much makeup on, and her dress had a low cut. Then again, she did have a busty chest. However, you would never wear a dress like that, because it usually attracted the wrong kind of guys.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when Bucky removed his grip on your waist. He met Amy halfway and gave her a greeting and a hug that lasted a few seconds too long. Steve started walking towards the two of them and you grudgingly followed along.

Bucky released Amy from the hug and turned to face you and Steve. He introduced, “Steve, this is Amy. Amy, this is Steve.”

Amy had a full smile on her red lips on contrast to her perfect, white teeth. “Hi Steve,” she greeted, extending a hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Steve returned the handshake. You could see Steve was in a bright mood, and he gave her one of his special smiles. “Nice to meet you too, ma’m.”

Bucky returned to your side, placing his arm back around your waist. He rose his hand to gesture to the theater entrance and asked, “Shall we?”

Your fists clenched when you saw Amy link her arm with Steve. The four of you started walking in. Bucky leaned into you to whisper in your ear, “Everything all right, doll?”

You unclenched your fists and looked at him with a half smile. “Everything’s great.” Bucky returned the smile and led you into the theater.

During the movie, Steve and Amy sat in the row in front of you and Bucky. You were trying to pay attention to the movie, but you kept on focusing on how close Steve and Amy were. Their arms were still linked, and they were constantly whispering to each other. Every once and awhile, Amy would let out a cute giggle, which made Steve smile.

Steve was happy, so why was this upsetting you? Yeah, he had a crush on Steve, but you’re with Bucky now. It would be selfish to think you guys would remain a trio your whole life.

You intertwined your hands with Bucky’s and looked to him with a smile, but the smile fell when you saw him gawking at a girl who was two seats over, who you recognized as one of Bucky’s ex. She was giving a flirtatious wave, and Bucky returned the gesture with one of his charming smirks. Your shoulders tensed, and your heart fell.

For the rest of the movie, you were in a fowl mood. But what really ticked you off was that Bucky didn’t seem to notice. Bucky and you were heading back to the apartment, while Steve was walking Amy home. You had a blank face with your arms remained at your sides, looking down at the sidewalk like it was the most interesting thing.

Bucky’s hand caught your wrist, abruptly stopping your walk home. He grabbed your shoulders and lifted your chin to look up at him. “What’s wrong?” he questioned.

You shook out of his grip and looked away from those blue eyes. “Nothing Bucky.”

Stubbornly, Bucky lifted your chin again.  “Obviously that’s not true. You haven’t spoken more than a few words all night.”

You sighed, “I’m not in a great mood right now. Just leave it for now, okay?” Bucky nodded and turned to continue walking down the street, holding your hand once again. You got what you wanted, but what you really wanted was for Bucky to truly ask you what’s wrong and not stop persisting until he gets to the bottom of it. That’s what happens in a relationship. You were to support each other, love each other, make sure you guys were both happy.

This time, it was you who stopped walking. “Actually, I’m not fine, Bucky.”

Still holding your hand, he turned to stand in front of you, cupping your cheek with his other hand. “Then, tell me what’s wrong,” he stated.

You took in a deep breath and then stated, “We should be happy in a relationship, right?” Bucky nodded, eyebrows furrowed not knowing where you were going with this. “Well, I’m not… happy.”

Bucky tucked a strand of hair behind your ear then placed his hand on your shoulder. “Okay. Just tell me when you are feeling like this, so we can fix it.”

“The thing is is that shouldn’t we just be happy. No if’s, and’s, or but’s.” Bucky nodded reluctantly. “And I shouldn’t have to tell you when I’m not happy. You should just know.”

Bucky’s grip on your shoulder tightened, “Where are you getting at?”

“I don’t know,” you answered, your shoulders dropping.

Bucky accused, “Well, obviously this is coming from somewhere.” He released you from his grip and starting pacing. He then stopped and looked at you, asking “Is it the girl I used to date in the theater?”

You let out an exhale. “Partially, but that’s not the only reason Bucky.”

“Y/N,” Bucky said. “She was flirting with me. I was just being polite.” Your head dropped, ashamed of what you just accused him of. “You can’t tell me that you haven’t looked at any guys, while we’ve been dating.”

Well, you have been looking at one guy, and that guy is Steve Rogers. But you still haven’t figured out where that’s heading to. But besides Steve, you stayed loyal to Bucky, not giving any other guy a second glance.

You shook your head and then looked up at him, gazing into his eyes. “Y/N,” Bucky started. “In order for this relationship to work, you need to communicate with me more, but most importantly, you need to trust me. Do you trust me?”

Honestly, you couldn’t. The thing is is that you knew Bucky, so much so that you knew him and his flirtatious ways. You didn’t know how strong this relationship was. You gave it a shot, but is it really worth risking your friendship? Your eyes widened and tears started to fill her eyes.

Recognition dawned onto Bucky’s face. He uttered, “You don’t, do you?” Your silence answered his question. “I don’t think we should be dating then.”

Your breath was caught in your throat, and you were trying to blink back the tears. You stammered, “Bucky, I love you too much to risk our friendship. We were great as best friends, maybe, we should stay that way.”

Bucky whispered, “Maybe.” Bucky gave you a gentle kiss on the top of your head. He intertwined his hands with yours again, and you leaned into him. You guys continued walking home.

* * *

It took a couple of days for things to return back to normal. But it wasn’t that hard. When you and Bucky dated, nothing really changed except a few exchanges throughout the day. So the breakup wasn’t so substantial. Bucky and you became friends again, as if nothing ever changed. And for that, you were grateful.

Amy and Steve decided to stay as friends, which you were internally happy for. It was all too confusing for you. You loved Steve, just like you love Bucky. And sure, you find them both attractive, but did you want to take things to the next level or stay as best friends? Your thoughts and emotions were getting the better of you, so you decided to ignore them.

That was until the night you and Steve were studying for a history exam. Steve and you were huddled together, crouching over the table to study. Steve loved history, being intrigued with the past and the great wars it held. You, however, hated history. Steve was trying to tutor you and get the information to stick.

It was dark outside, and Bucky decided to stay with his parents that night for a visit. Your eyes started to droop, and you were nearing the end of the notes.  

“In the Seven Days of Battle,” Steve lectured. “General Lee stepped up to take control of the Confederate armies against McClellan and his Union armies.” You placed your elbow on the table and leaned onto it, trying to stay awake. “Lee was overly aggressive, but it led to a victory for his side and a humiliating defeat of the Union. This resulted in General McClellan stepping down.” Steve looked over his shoulder to see you now with your head on the table, snoozing. Steve chuckled. “Y/N…” nudging your shoulder.

Your head shot up, “I’m up!” you exclaimed. Steve laughed at you, to which you just glared at him.

You rubbed your eyes with the heel of your palm while stating, “Steve, I’m hopeless. I don’t think I can continue on. Anything after this is just going to be a blur tomorrow. Sleep is more important before a test than cramming. I’m going to bed.” You started closing your books and gather your textbooks.

Steve threaded a hand through his hair. He comforted, “You’re not hopeless Y/N. You’re smart, and beautiful, and sweet, and considera-”

“Wait. What?” you interrupted. Your eyes lit up, and sleepiness was far from your mind now.

Steve stammered, “I-I said, you were sweet and considerate.”

You tilted your head and asked, “No, before that.”

Steve uttered, “I said you were… beautiful.”

You beamed at this with a smile growing on your face. You clarified, “You think I’m beautiful?” Unconsciously, you tuck a lock of hair behind your ear, a nervous habit of yours.

Steve confessed, “I think you’re gorgeous.” Your heart started to beat a thousand times harder that you were sure Steve could hear it from where he sat. That was the first time someone ever called you beautiful. You saw yourself as average looking, pretty, but never beautiful.

You don’t know what prompted you to do this. Maybe it was the fact you were half asleep. Or maybe it’s because it was Steve Rogers, a guy you were trying to avoid feelings for. But you launched yourself on him and kissed him.

At first, Steve was stunned, but then, he reciprocated the kiss, closing his eyes and melting into your soft lips. You were delighted when he returned the kiss, but you quickly pulled away when you realized what you were doing, embarrassed for throwing yourself on him. You looked down shyly and uttered, “Sorry.”

Steve lifted your chin, “Why are you apologizing?”

You claimed, “I shouldn’t have kissed you. It’s just that you called me beautiful and no one has ever called me that. I just got a little careless.”

Steve stated, “Well, you are beautiful, Y/N.” A blush rose to your cheeks.

It was then you realized how close your faces were. You had a clear view of his blue eyes. You looked down at his plump lips, then back at him. “Thank you Steve, “ you whispered.

Steve responded breathlessly, “I’m just telling you the truth.” Your lips curved into a true smile. “I love you Y/N.”

Your eyes widened at his confession. Now that you knew the feelings were mutual, you didn’t know what to think. “Why now?”

Steve gave a half-smirk and his eyes wandered, almost in a nostalgic way. “I’ve always loved you Y/N. Ever since you saved me from those jerks all those years ago. I just thought you deserved more than a scrawny guy like me.”

You cupped Steve’s cheek and turned his face so he was looking at you before stating, “I love you too.”

You can’t believe what just happened, and you would’ve never have guessed what this will blossom into.


	5. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TV shows play such a big part of my life. I gathered some memorable quotes from some of my favorite TV shows. (Glee: The Quarterback S5E03; How I Met Your Mother: Drumroll S1E13)  
> Also, I was inspired by @marvelimaginesyesplease‘s post.

Dating Steve was everything you could have imagined. He was the perfect boyfriend, ever such a gentleman. He’s the type of guy that when he asked ‘How are you?’ he would actually want to know. And boy was he handsome. He wasn’t handsome like Bucky. No, he was handsome in his own special way. Fortunately for you, no other girls looked at Steve like how you saw him. Not that it would even matter, because when he was with you, he only looked at you and no other girl can compare.

Bucky, Steve, and you hung out less, now that you guys graduated from high school. Bucky and Steve attended the Auburndale Art School. Bucky wasn’t a fan of school and often looked for a job, but he decided to join Steve for the time being. He didn’t know what he wanted to do in the future. You also wanted to continue your education. However, the only schools available to you were ones with the education of being a housewife. You didn’t remember much of your past, but you did know that women had way more rights in the future than now.

But you didn’t complain. The two schools were close to each other and a short walk from your guys’ apartments. It was hard not seeing Bucky and Steve as much, but it made time in your apartment that much more special.

In a blink of an eye, you guys were grown up. All of you were now in your twenties. Bucky found work in a nearby factory, and Steve and you have been dating for three years already, three wonderful years.

Steve was on his way home from visiting his mother, and Bucky was at the factory, working, leaving you alone at the apartment. You were doing what your education has taught you to do, making dinner and cleaning around the house.

Three large potatoes were boiling on the stove, and meaty gravy was heating up on the other side of the cooker. You were cutting up steamed carrots and cabbage to accompany the tater. Fortunately, on your way home, you picked up some freshly-baked bread.

You just finished cutting up the mixed vegetables and were stirring the potatoes to make sure they wouldn’t overcook, when you heard the front door open. Still stirring, you looked over your shoulder to see Bucky walking through the door.

You smiled at the sight of him. “Hi Bucky,” you greeted.

You heard Bucky’s footsteps, walking towards you. “Hey doll,” he said, while hugging you from the behind. Bucky and you have been on good terms. He was happy for you and Steve and often went on double dates with you guys and another dame. The night you kissed Steve, you were worried that this would ruin everything. Though it happened a couple of months after you and Bucky broke up, you were nervous that you dating Steve would bring out the ugly side in everyone. Fortunately, it was everything but.

Bucky pulled back from the hug and observed what you were doing. “What’s for dinner?” he asked.

You stopped stirring the potatoes and lifted up the lid of the pot holding the gravy. You wanted to make sure it wasn’t burning, because without gravy, the potato would be bland. You informed, “Potatoes and gravy. I have carrots and cabbage to accompany it, and I think there is still some strong cheddar in the ice-box.”

Bucky walked over to the fridge, opening the door and sticking his head in. A few seconds later, Bucky announced, “Yep. We still have some,” holding out the cheese in his hand.

You gave him a small smile. “Great,” you responded. “Can you put it on the counter?” He walked over to you and placed what was left of the cheese next to the cut-up vegetables. You continued, “I also picked up some bread on the way home today.”

Bucky sighed, “You are amazing.” You chuckled at that. He walked over to the living room and threw himself onto the couch. “I’m beat,” he exasperated.

You gave a chuckle. “I bet you are,” you answered. You placed the lid back onto the pot, then walked over to the drawers to get the shredder for the cheese.

What you didn’t see was the way Bucky was gazing at you. Bucky’s thoughts were cutting off with the sound of the front door opening. He ripped his eyes away from your standing figure and stared down at the floor.

“Hi Steve,” you greeted, knowing he would be the only one walking through the door. You didn’t look up from your task of shredding the cheese. Last thing you needed was to cut yourself on the device. That would be a story. As your school stated, ‘A perfect housewife knows how to use all her tools.’

He didn’t respond to you, which you thought was odd. He always greeted you in the sweetest ways. You knew something was off. You stopped shredding the cheese and looked up to see Steve with red, swollen eyes, his head bowed down.

You dropped the cheese and shredder on the counter and ran over to him, wrapping your arms around his neck in a comforting hug. He nuzzled his face into your hair and wrapped his arms around your waist, enjoying your reassuring embrace.

Arms still encased around Steve, you whispered gently, “What’s wrong honey?”

Steve took in a large, shaky breath and answered, “It’s my mom.” You held in your breath, your nose burning with the tears filling your eyes. You turned to look at Bucky who was now sitting up on the couch with the same shocked expression you held. Steve continued, “She caught tuberculosis while working. She only has a month.” You tightened your hug, and tears started falling down your cheek.

Steve’s mother Sarah was a saint, who started working at a tuberculosis ward to make end’s meet. She denied your offer to help, and when Steve offered to get a job to help out, she refused saying he needed to pursue his love in art. You loved Sarah, and you and her were super close, you hanging out at Steve’s all the time when you were younger. She was your second mother, and you were the daughter she never had. Sarah was ecstatic when you and Steve got together.

You cried in a low voice, “I’m so sorry Steve.” You closed your eyes, drops slowly ran down your face. You briefly released the hug only to wipe the tears that have fallen down your chin. When you opened your eyes, your vision was blurry.

You didn’t notice Bucky walking towards the two of you. He placed a comforting hand on Steve’s shoulder and muttered, “I’m so sorry pal. I’ll let you guys have a moment to yourselves.”

You looked up at him with wet eyes and mouthed a thank you. He gave you a reassuring nod and walked over to his room. Once you heard his door close, you released your hug on Steve, grabbed his hand, and started heading over to the couch.

You sat down and Steve followed. You gently cupped the back of his neck and pulled forward, to let his head rest on your shoulder. Your hand started caressing the hair on the nape of his neck. The other rubbed circles on his lower back. You guys stayed like this for a while, tears falling down yours and his cheek, letting the sudden news settle.

It was Steve who broke the consoling silence. Your guys’ tears were now dry, but your eyes and cheeks were red and swollen from all the crying. He lifted his head off your shoulder, which to him felt like it was filled with lead. And then he looked at you. And the way he was looking at you… as if you were his everything, his entire world, the only thing that is keeping him grounded. He stated affectionately, “I love you Y/N L/N.”

You smiled for the first time since you heard about Sarah’s illness. You replied longingly, pronounciating every word to make sure he knew how much you meant it. “I love you too Steven Grant Rogers. More than you can imagine.”

You felt your heart ache at the way he was staring at you. You loved this man, and you will follow him to the ends of the earth. You started leaning in slowly. Eyes flickering to his lips and back. You waited for him for his permission.

The best part of any first kiss is the lead up to it. The moment right before the lips touch. It’s like a big drum roll. And when your lips finally connected, it felt like fireworks. You and Steve have kissed over the time of your relationship, but they were sweet and chaste. That’s how this kiss started, but then it become something more- with more passion, more love.

You cupped the back of his neck with both hands to try and bring him closer. Steve didn’t know where to put his hands. Every time they were about to settle into a position, he quickly withdrew. You felt Steve was a bit hesitant, so you pulled back a bit.

He ripped his lips from yours and apologized, “I-I’m sorry.” You chuckled and continued to kiss him. Obviously, he was nervous, and you were too. But Steve kept apologizing, and his hands were shaking, still not finding a solid place to put them. You finally grabbed his hands and gently placed them on your hips. He apologized again, and you just wanted him to shut up and kiss you already.

You grabbed the back of his neck again and leaned forward, kissing him long and hard. That shut him up, and you felt him smile against your lips. He starts melting into your embrace, like putty in your hand.

In life there are a lot of big romantic moments, and they make life worth living. But here’s the problem. Moments pass. And lurking just around the corner from those moments is a cruel, unshaven bastard named reality. Steve’s mom was dying, and there was nothing that can be done about that. But for now, you can forget the grief, the loss, the sadness, and enjoy this moment. Hold on to it and never let it go. Time was just an illusion; no power was needed to make this moment last.

* * *

Steve was gone a lot in the past month, being by Sarah’s bedside and arranging the funeral, so Bucky was your rock. At home, he never left your side and always offered a shoulder to cry on when you needed one. Bucky held up, never showing his sadness, trying to be strong for the three of us. But you can see past his facade; he was heartbroken as well.

“You’re doing it again,” you accused.

Bucky’s head shot up. “Doing what?” he asked.

You walked over to him and intertwined your hands with his. “Bucky, I know you. Maybe even more than you know yourself. Sarah’s death is hard on all of us, you included.”

Bucky looked down at your hands, feeling his eyes burn with tears starting to fill up. You continued, “You’ve been a rock for everyone, so I know that that means that sometimes you don’t get to grieve yourself.”

Bucky muttered, still not looking up at you, “I’m okay.”

You wondered, “Are you?”

Bucky sighed, finally looking up at you with tear-filled eyes, “Of course I’m not okay, but I have to make sure that the people around me are taken care of.”

You drew the back of your hand on his cheek “I know,” you said. “Whatever you feel and however you want to show it, that’s okay. I just I think there’s gonna come a time when you need to let it all out, and I want you to know that I plan on being here for you when you do.”

You smiled when Bucky nodded. “I’m going to make some hot chocolate for the both of us, okay?” you asked.

Bucky answered, “That would be great, doll.”

You got up and smoothed down your skirt. You headed towards the kitchen, and Bucky was doing it again, gazing longingly at you while you weren’t looking.

* * *

Sarah Rogers’ funeral was beautiful. There was a crowd of people from who Sarah touched their lives. People from the tuberculosis ward, both patients and their families attended, saying was so kind and caring.

Steve and you didn’t cry. For one thing, you guys felt like you were all cried out from the previous month. But another thing was that the arrangement was uplifting. It was to celebrate Sarah’s life, not grieve for her death. Sarah would have wanted that. She would have smacked us on the side of the head if we dwelled on it… God, you missed Sarah. Bucky, however, allowed a single tear roll down his cheek during the funeral, to which you grabbed his hand and gave it a comforting squeeze.

You and Bucky were walking to the apartment, holding hands for comfort. You were hugging his left arm, feeling drained and exhausted. “That was a beautiful funeral,” you whispered.

Bucky smiled, “Yeah. It really was. Sarah would have loved it.”

You let out a large exhale and tightened your grip on his arm. A comfortable silence fell between you two. Bucky’s chest rose and then fell with rapid breaths. “Y/N? Can I tell you something?”

You hummed in agreement, still focusing on your walk home. Bucky stated, “If there was one thing I learned from Sarah’s death, it would be that life is too short.”

You looked up at his face and smiled. “I agree,” you responded.

Bucky paused and thought long and hard on what he was going to say next. He drew in a long breath, then continued, “Y/N. I still love you, and I know you are with Steve and you love each other, but I just need you to know.”

Your eyes widened and your face flushed. You looked up at him to see if there was any kind of recognition on his face, but you didn’t see anything but sincerity.

Bucky stated, “I can’t hold onto that secret any longer.”


	6. Chapter Five

It took awhile for the wheels in your head to start spinning. Then recognition dawned on your face. You gave Bucky a genuine smile, then stated, “I love you too.”

Bucky returned the smile, and you saw his shoulders relax, which you didn’t even know were tense. Your heart ached when you continued, “But I love Steve too.” His smile dropped, leaving a poker face in its state. “And right now, I can’t leave his side. He needs me right now, as much as I need him.”

Bucky turned to face the road again. Behind his eyes, he was hurt and heartbroken, but you were right. He didn’t know what he would have gotten out of this after his confession. He knew you would never leave Steve. It hurt him that you guys may never be, but he knew it would hurt even more if he never told you.

He reassured, “I understand Y/N. If anything, I just want you to be happy.” He looked back down at you.

You got on your tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “I love you James.”

Bucky drew a sad smile. “I love you too Y/N.”

* * *

It took months for things to go back to normal, but finally, Steve was back to his happy self and Bucky and you remained as best friends. Sometimes, you guys were gaze at each other longingly. You loved Bucky, but you also loved Steve. So much so that nothing else mattered when you were with him. Steve made you happy; he made you feel loved, and there’s no greater feeling than being with him.

Today was your four-year anniversary, and Steve was making you dinner to celebrate. Bucky went to his parents to give you guys the apartment to yourselves.

“And here we go,” Steve said, placing the a plate of spaghetti and meatballs in front of you and placing the other plate at his spot to accompany the bread rolls that were already on the table.

“Thank you Steve. You’re such a dreamboat,” you flirted. Steve chuckled while walking back to the kitchen, but you saw a blush creeping up his cheeks.

Steve came back with two glasses filled with champagne. His hands were kind of shaking. You being the worried girlfriend asked, “Steve, are you alright?” grabbing your glass from his hand. “You’re shaking.”

Steve scoffed with a wave of a hand, “I’m fine Y/N.” But you saw right through him. He was nervous. He was avoiding eye contact with you, and he kept running his hand through his hair.

“Right,” you played off, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.

Steve smiled. “Shall we toast?” he asked, raising his glass in the air. You responded by raising your glass as well. He commemorated, “T-to an amazing four years of you being my best girl.” You raised your glass a little higher as an agreement. You chuckled at his nervousness. You and Steve have been dating four years now, and you still can get him like this.

He then stammered, “A-and to hopefully, many more to come as… as my wife.”

Your eyes widened and you held in your breath. He then placed his glass on the table and got up from his seat. You had a loss of words, watching him walk over to you and getting down on one knee, grabbing your hand with both of his. Tears started brimming your eyes, when he proposed, “Y/N, I love you so much that it hurts. You are all I think about all day and all night. I thank my lucky stars that I have you by my side. You were there for me through thick and thin, and the day my mom died, I realized just how much I loved you and how much I want to be with you for the rest of my life.”

Tears started falling down your cheek. You placed a hand over your mouth and released a shaky breathe, your whole body shook as well. Steve continued, “Ever since that day, I’ve been planning this proposal, making sure everything would be perfect, because you are perfect and you deserve nothing less than perfection.”

Steve released your hand and fumbled with his pocket. He finally found the object he was looking for and pulled out a ring. He looked at it longingly then looked back at you. “It was my mother’s,” he stated.

You removed your hand from your mouth and breathed in another shaky breath. Steve asked, “Y/N L/N, will you marry me?”

You were at a loss of words and can only express your emotions by nodding your head happily. He smiled and released a breath of release. He slid the ring onto your finger. You then lunged yourself onto Steve, and you two fell on the ground, you on top of him. You two laughed and then you shared a kiss.

You finally gathered your words and stated, “I love you Steven Grant Rogers.”

He stated with a smirk, “I love you too Mrs. Rogers.”

With that, you two shared a passionate kiss. Then got up to eat dinner. I mean, Steve did cook for you. It would be rude not to eat it.

* * *

You called your parents to tell them the news, and they were so happy for you. You stayed on the phone with your mother for at least an hour talking about wedding plans. When you guys told Bucky, he said he was happy for you two. You and Bucky shared a look, but it wasn’t a look of despair, it was a look of understatement.

Months flew by with you planning the wedding. Your mom offered to fly down a week before the wedding to help out, to which you agreed. You just wished Sarah was with you as well. She would have been so happy for you two and would have loved to help out with the wedding plans, as well.

Steve and Bucky were out running errands, while you were thinking on a date for the wedding. It was stressful, trying to figure out a day where everyone is available. You were about to pull out your hair when another date fell through, when you heard the door open.

Before you can even greet the boys, Steve exclaimed, “Y/N!”

You looked up to see Steve running towards you and Bucky close behind, closing the door. Steve stated, “You wouldn’t even guess what just happened?”

Your eyes widened and you were looking back and forth between Bucky and Steve. “I don’t know,” you uttered.

Bucky stated, “The U.S. has entered the World War.”

Dropping your papers, you gasped, “I can’t believe it.”


	7. Chapter Six

* * *

Bucky and Steve started training at Goldie’s Boxing Gym to prepare for the enlistment of the war. Bucky was a three-time YMCA welterweight boxing champion and tried everything in his power to prepare Steve for what was coming, without overexerting him. Both of them had their fathers fight in the first world war. Steve was more than ready to fight for his country. Bucky was going to make sure Steve didn’t get killed. You wanted to try and talk them out of it, including Steve for his health was all but good. But he had too much pride, and it was his dream to do so. You didn’t want to stand in the way of that.

After two weeks of training, they visited the US Recruiting and Induction Center. Fortunately for you, Steve was classified as 4F and rejected from service. You knew he had no chance due to his various health and physical issues. He was frustrated, and you had to coax him. He persisted though, remaining determined to fight alongside his friends and other men overseas. Steve visited multiple enlistment offices, trying to convince doctors to give him a chance. He was denied every time.

You continued to plan the wedding. You had to limit a lot of your choices, with the war going on. Lounging on the couch, you were looking at a wedding magazine, showcasing the latest dresses and styles. You, however, were just going to go down to the dress shop downtown and buy a white dress there. With the war going on, you had to be cautious with what you spent. You didn’t need nor want a big fancy dress, and you never dreamed about a big, white wedding.

Steve was helpful with the wedding planning. He gave his inputs and usually chose the ending decision when you were crossed with two choices. But right now, he was off at yet another enlistment center, all the way in New Jersey.

Your ears perked up when you heard the front door open. Bucky was walking in, looking defeated, shoulders slouched, eyes distant, and lips slightly frowning. These gestures were not over-exaggerated, and to a naked eye, one might dismiss it as him being tired. But you knew Bucky. You knew both Bucky and Steve’s tell signs.

Your face dropped to match his mood. You closed your magazine but kept a finger in between the pages to keep ahold of your current page. “What’s going on?” you asked.

His eyes lifted up at your direction but quickly went back to gaze at the floor. Bucky stated, face still blank, “Nothing,” trying to dismiss your suspicion. Bucky then walked over to fridge and grabbed a beer. Leaning onto the counter, he faced your direction and chugged his beer down.

You raised an eyebrow and asked again, “Really? Nothing at all?”

You shifted on the couch, removing your legs and patting the now vacant spot encouragingly. Still gripping onto the bottle, Bucky walked over, dragging his feet. He sat next to you but hunched over, elbows on his knees.

You frowned, “What’s really wrong?”

Bucky lifted one side of his lips. “What makes you think that something’s wrong?” He looked over at you, eyes half-focused.

You directly stared at the beer bottle Bucky was holding. Bucky was unconsciously peeling the label of the beer bottle. This was one of Bucky’s tell-signs. He would tear-off the label of his drink whenever he was down.

Bucky followed your gaze and looked down at his bottle and immediately stopped scraping the sticker. He didn’t say anything though, letting a silence settle into the room.

You placed your hand on his grip on the beer. Trying to light up the mood, you advised with a smile on your face, “I am going to figure it out sooner or later. Might as well tell me right now.”

Amused, Bucky huffed his chest in a half-assed chuckle. He then cocked his head in a knowing way. “I got drafted,” he simply announced.

Your smile dropped and your heart sank. You removed your hand from his. “When?” was all you said.

“Tomorrow night,” Bucky explained. He swallowed hard, and the lump in his throat bobbed.

“Don’t leave me,” you begged. “Don’t leave us.”

Bucky chuckled. “Doll, I’m with you guys til the end of the line.”

Tears started filling your eyes. That was something Bucky always said to Steve. When Bucky first said this Steve, Steve was sick, almost to the point of dying. Bucky said this to tell Steve that he was there for him, no matter what. When Steve got better, Bucky continued saying this, because you never knew how much time you would have with someone. And with Steve, it was even more imprecise.

This saying was always theirs and theirs only, and you never pried on it, knowing full well the meaning behind it. This was the first time Bucky said it to you, meant it towards you, and you were overwhelmed. You just wish it wasn’t under these circumstances.

A sad silence filled the room. You were trying to comprehend that your Bucky was leaving you and Steve. Who knew if when he was going to come back? Who knew if he’s coming back?

“Don’t tell Steve, okay?” Bucky pleaded. You released a breath that you didn’t even know you were holding.

Placing the now forgotten magazine on the table, you comforted, “Steve will be happy for you.”

Bucky scoffed. “Yeah. Sure. Until he learns that I got drafted and didn’t enlist when I told him I would.” He took a sip of his beer. “I’m a coward.”

“You are not a coward,” you reprimanded placing a hand on his shoulder. “You are one of the bravest people I know.”

At one of the worst possible timing ever, Steve walked through the door. Bucky quickly looked at you and whisper, “Please Y/N. Don’t tell Steve yet.”

You nodded in a silent agreement. Bucky gave you a smile. He then greeted, “Hey Steve.”

“Hey Bucky,” Steve acknowledged. You then walked towards you. “Hey sweetheart,” he said, leaning over and placing a firm kiss on your cheek.

“Hi,” you said with a loving voice. “How was New Jersey?”

Steve blew out his cheeks, before answering. “Got rejected again.” You gave him a comforting smile.

Bucky got up from his spot, announcing, “I’m beat. I’m going to head to bed.” He started heading towards his room. “Goodnight you two,” he said over his shoulder.

“Goodnight Bucky,” you stated.

Steve replaced Bucky’s spot of the couch, now sitting next to you. He leaned back on the couch, letting his head rest on the back of the couch. He was staring at the ceiling, lost in his thoughts

You gave him a half-smile, before asking “Do you want to talk about it?”

Not moving from his current position, Steve stated, “I just really want to get in.”

You sighed. “I know honey, but some people out there are wishing to be in your position. And there are plenty of other jobs out there, where you can help out in the war without actually fighting.”

Steve got up and turned to face you, with a disgusted face. “Like what? What am I going to do? Collect scrap? I’m not going to sit in a factory, not while there are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them.”

I looked down at you hands, defeated. “I know Steve,” you stated. “But if you do go off to war, you’ll be leaving me behind. Haven’t you thought about that. Don’t you want to get married?”

Steve sighed. “I’m sorry Y/N,” he apologized. He placed a finger under your chin and lifted it to make you look at him. “I do want to get married. It’s just… I got something to prove. You know that. From where I stand, all I want to do is show the people that I am more than a scrawny guy picking fights he can’t win.”

You assured, “I know. But for now, let’s enjoy you still being here, okay? Because I don’t know if I can continue living without you, Steve. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Steve stated, giving you a small kiss on your lips.

* * *

Bucky ended up telling Steve the next morning but didn’t tell the whole truth. You guys were going to go out on Bucky’s last night in Brooklyn, before he ships out for England. Steve and you let Bucky decide where you guys were going. When reading the newspaper, Bucky spotted an ad. The Modern Marvels Pavilion was holding an event called the World of Tomorrow, and the Howard Stark was going to be there.

The event was crazy busy. People of all ages were wondering exhibit to exhibit to see the latest inventions and what will come in the future. Bucky, Steve, and you were waiting for the show to start, already done with all the exhibits.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Howard Stark,” the announcer introduced. The crowd applauded as Mr. Stark himself walked on the stage. He gave a big show kiss in front of the crowd, but the performer didn’t seem to mind. She actually seemed flattered. It must be hard dating a star icon with millions of other girls waiting at their doorstep.

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” Howard started. “What if I told you that in just a few short years, your automobile won’t even have to touch the ground, at all.” The crowd murmured, waiting for Howard to show his latest invention.

“Yes,” he continued, as the showgirls removed the decoration tires. “Thanks Mandy,” Howard flirted. “With Starks Gravitic reversion technology, you’ll be able to do just that.” Mr. Stark turned a knob and pulled a lever. The car started lifting up from the air, going as high as six inches, one foot, three feet. The crowd was holding their breath, watching the car rise from the ground, the music adding in on the anticipation.

“Holy cow,” Bucky uttered, enthusiastically but more surprised. As on cue, one of the engines sparked, and the car fell on the engines, destroying the machinery. From the corner of your eye, you see Bucky with a smug grin. With a playful swat to the chest, you tried to reprimand him for being so rude, but it didn’t hold with a grin on your face, matching his.

Howard explained, “Well I did say a few years, didn’t I?” with a charmful smirk.

Steve tapped your shoulder, stating “I’ll be right back”. You gave him a nod and a smile.  Steve stalked off in a certain direction, and you were left with Bucky.

He was mighty handsome with his sergeant uniform. You could see girls giving him the second glance, but who could blame him?

You looked down at your hands to see you were unknowingly twisting your wedding ring. You looked down at the ring and thought of Steve and Sarah.

You were lost in your thoughts, when Bucky interrupted, “I’m happy for you.” You jerked your head up to see Bucky watching you twist your wedding ring as well. “Really,” he continued. “I know I might not come back, but-

This time, you interrupted with a knowing look, “You are coming back.” You jutted your hip and crossed your arms in front of your chest.

Bucky chuckled with a roll of his eyes. “I’m just glad you have each other,” Bucky added.

You gave him a genuine smile, and stated, “Thanks Bucky.” You stepped towards him to wrap your arms around his waist. He returned the hug, hugging you tightly as this might be his last one for a while. He tried to remember you, how warm you were, how delicate your arms felt against his waist, and how you smell.

Bucky tried to stop being nostalgic and pulled back from the hug. “I’m going to find Steve, okay? I’ll be right back.”

You gave him a nod. “Okay.”

Bucky setted off in the direction Steve left, leaving you by yourself. You started walking around the pavilion again, looking at your favorite exhibits. You watched fireworks as they lit up the sky. Moments like these, you forgot the world around you. You forgot the sadness and responsibilities you had. Bucky was leaving; there was no doubt about that. But you always pictured him being in your life, in your wedding. Maybe not as the groom, but he was still someone very special to you.

You see Bucky coming towards you. Your eyebrows furrowed when you didn’t see Steve with him. Bucky explained, “He went to the recruitment center.”

You sighed. “Okay. Well, I’m heading home Bucky. My feet are killing me. You coming?”

Bucky gave you a smile before answering, “I’m going to go dancing. I want one last dance with a beautiful dame before I go.”

With a bright smile, you responded, “Okay. I’ll see you after.”

Bucky frowned, “Actually, I’m going to spend the night at my parents tonight. They would want me to, and I haven’t visited them in a long time.”

Your smile dropped and your heart sank. “So this is a goodbye?”

Bucky dropped his gaze and gave you a solemn nod.

Your breath was caught, and you hugged him long and hard. “Be safe, sergeant. And come home soon. I’ll miss you too much.”

Returning the hug, Bucky said, “There’s nothing else I would do. I love you Y/N.”

Your heart clenched, and a single tear fell down your cheek. “I love you too James Buchanan Barnes.”

You gave him a kiss on the cheek, then watched him walk away from you. You walked to the apartment in a sad mood, trying not to cry, the tears threatening to fall. When you got to the apartment, you went straight to Bucky’s room and sobbed. You kept reminding yourself,  _He’s coming back. There’s no way in hell he’s not coming back. He’s going to come back._

After minutes of sobbing, you left Bucky’s room. You were insanely thirsty and needed a glass of water. Your journey was cut short when Steve walked in with a bright smile on his face.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, grabbing your hands with his. “You’ll never believe what happened?”

“What?” you asked, your red, swollen eyes wide with hope.

“I got in,” Steve stated with his face lighted up. He was holding up his papers with a stamp stating, ‘A1’. “Into the army. I leave tomorrow morning!” he continued.

You didn’t smile, nor did you cry. Maybe it was because you were all cried out, or maybe it was because you were shocked. You can’t even say that you considered this was going to happen.


	8. Chapter Seven

You were alone, for the first time in forever. When you moved out of your parents house, you had Bucky and Steve. And now, even they were gone. Two years have passed since the war started, and you were lucky enough to still have your boys at your side. But of course, the world had to take them away from you. 

You were saddened that the wedding would not be happening anytime soon. You were so close into planning the whole thing, and everything was coming together. But you were happy for Steve. He wanted this so bad, maybe even more than the wedding. It didn’t bug you though. You knew Steve loved you and you love him. You didn’t need a piece of paper to tell you otherwise. Besides, your parents came down with a common flu, which means they couldn’t of come down anyways.

Your life was basic now. Wake up, go to work, come home, go to bed. Life without your boys was lonely, but going out wasn’t much better. The men that were left would hit on you but run as fast as the wind when they spot the ring on your finger. You never had any luck with any girl friends.

There wasn’t much to do anyways. With the war going on, everything has come to a halt. Movies, books, and shows weren’t coming out as much. The only entertainment were those involved with the war. Theaters held informative clips on ‘how you can help with the war’. Books were limited with all resources being used for the war.

There was this one show about some walking American flag dude. Everyone in town was hyped about it, and girls had goo-goo eyes on the meathead. You could care less. You had eyes for only one meathead, who just had to get himself in the army.

Five boring months has gone by, and nothing interesting has happened to you. You have had enough of it. You were walking down to your mailbox, praying your magazine was delivered, even though the month just started. Fortunately, no one was down there, so you can get your mail in peace. With your key in hand, you walked up to the compartment.

“Okay mailbox,” you muttered. “Let’s see what you have in store for me today.” You pushed the key into the slot, jiggling it as the lock was stuck to the ongoing rust.

“Come on mailbox,” you encouraged. “Work with me.” As if the mailbox has answered your plea, your key moved just that little bit to unlock the lock.

“Thank you,” you added with a smile. And then, you realized that you just had a conversation with an inanimated object.  _Dang. I really need to get out and make at least one social interaction._

You grabbed the envelopes from the slot, disappointed that they were not accompanied with a magazine. You started sorting your mail, while closing your mailbox. When you see an official one from the army, your breath was caught in your throat.

This was the first letter you gotten from the army. You didn’t know what to think. It could just be a random letter from your boys, to which you would smack the side of their heads for not writing any time sooner. I mean, it’s been months. Or worse, it could have been a letter, stating their deaths. Your anxiety was getting the best of you, and the only way to relieve it was to read the letter.

You ran up the stairs back to your apartment, your hand gripping onto the particular letter. You got to your floor, unlocked your door, and jumped on your couch in record time. You dropped the forgotten letters on the table, then ripped open the letter.

It was from Bucky. You released a well-needed sigh.

_Hey doll._

_Steve and I are so sorry that we haven’t exchanged any correspondence with you, but a lot has happened since we left you. Like a lot, a lot. I’d rather wait to talk to you in person than write it all down. And I hope that will happen soon. The army has allowed you to come visit us for a while. We have loads to catch up on._

_I bet you have had lots of fun without us. But I hope you haven’t had too much fun. You are still engaged to Steve. Speak of the devil, he misses you. And I think it would be a great surprise if you come and visit. See, I’m not making you come all the way down here for my own special needs. Though, I do miss seeing you everyday._

_A car will be at your door on December 15th to take you to our top-secret location. But trust me, you’re going to love it. Can’t wait to see you, love._

_Bucky Barnes_

You didn’t realize you were tearing up until a tear fell onto the paper to which you were reading. Today was March 12th. Great, you had three days to prepare yourself for a ‘vacation’. Since you didn’t know where you were going, you knew you needed to pack a lot, not knowing the weather of your certain location. Better safe than sorry.

You thought those five months were dreadfully long, hah! Boy, were you wrong. Those three days were the longest days you ever had to suffer. But soon enough, March 15th came and you were on your way to Steve and Bucky.

You were most surprised when the car brought you to an airport. Looks like you will be leaving the country, maybe even to the front lines of the war. During the whole plane ride, your anxiety was getting the best of you. You didn’t know what to expect when you arrived… in France!

When your plane landed, you were greeted by a beautiful woman. She had rosy red lips and fair skin. Her brown hair was up in a hairdo, which would have taken you hours to do. But what caught your eye was her uniform. She looked like an official, which wouldn’t be so weird if women regularly had that position.

She walked up to you and held out her hand. “Peggy Carter,” she introduced. “It’s nice to finally meet you Y/N. Steve talks about you all the time.”

Returning the handshake, you asked “What’d he tell you about me?” A flush crept up your face, thinking whatever Steve have said about you can never amount to her beauty. To be honest, you were jealous that someone as beautiful as Peggy was hanging around your Steve. No girl ever paid that much attention to Steve.

“Only the good stuff,” Peggy answered with a comforting smile.

Peggy and you got into a car and headed over to the campsite. It was quite the drive, having the location far away from public civilizations. From the car ride, you got to learn more about Peggy. And with each passing minute, you learned how great she was. If Steve wasn’t in love with her, then you sure would.

She was part of the Strategic Scientific Reserve, which was made up with the best minds of the free world. She said that their goal is to create the best army in history, and every army starts with one man. This, supposedly,  _Captain America_  was the first and the last of a new breed of super soldiers. You were in awe of her. Being a woman in such a high position was amazing.

You were suspicious though. Every time you brought up Steve, she would quickly change the subject, as if she was avoiding that topic. She did inform you about that walking flag dude though. Turns out, he was also staying at the campsite, and he was doing a lot more than performing on stage. He recently saved soldiers that were captured behind enemy lines, including the 107th where Bucky was issued.

Whoever he was, you felt the need to thank him. Without him, you would have lost your best friend.

You two finally arrived at the campsite. When you stepped out, all eyes were on you two. Being a woman on an all-men campsite can be intimidating. It was as if every man was looking at you like a piece of meat. But Peggy didn’t seem to mind, ignoring the gawking soldiers and leading you to the center of the campsite.

As you walked through, you saw the many soldiers. A lot of them were wounded, with white gauze soaked in their own blood. Some of them had broken bones, and one of them was missing an ear! You were praying that Bucky and Steve were okay. You can’t even imagine what Steve must look like right now.


	9. Chapter Eight

“Y/N?” you heard someone call behind you. You jerked your head in the direction of the voice to see no other than Bucky. The biggest smile you’ve had in months grew on your face. You ran up to Bucky, leaping into his arms.

You hid your face into his neck, not seeing corner of Peggy’s lips turning up. Peggy left the two of you and went to inform Steve of your arrival. You stayed in this position, taking in Bucky. Knowing full well that he is safe and out of harm’s way. It wasn’t until you heard someone clear your throat until you realized that you had an audience. You loosened your hug on Bucky and turned your head to see five other men watching with amused expressions.

“Y/N,” Bucky introduced. “This is Dum Dum, Gabe, Jim, James Montgomery, and Jacques.”

You raised a hand in greeting and breathed out a chuckle.

“Is this the Y/N you and Steve won’t shut up about?” Dum Dum asked.

Bucky rolled his eyes and huffed amusingly. “Yeah, this is her,” he answered, moving his hand to your lower back.

Jacques took a step forward, lifted your hand, and placed a gentle kiss on the back of your hand. “Mademoiselle,” he greeted. Your cheeks started to heat up. You looked up to see the others with impressed expressions.

Gabe was up next. With a nod, he said, “It’s nice to meet you ma’am.”

“It’s nice to meet you too,” you responded. “Thanks for keeping Bucky safe for me.”

They laughed in response. James Montgomery explained, “It wasn’t us who saved Bucky’s ass. It was Steve.”

Tilting your head, your eyebrows furrowed together. “I’m sorry. What?”

Jim questioned, “You don’t know?” A smile played on his lips.

“Know what?” you asked, kinda perturbed. You jutted out your hip and crossed your arms in front of your chest. You looked up at Bucky, waiting for an explanation.

“Doll,” Bucky started. “What do you know about Captain America?”

“He is the first and last of the super soldier program and saved a bunch of soldiers that were captured. And before that, he was a show monkey, capturing the eyes of many girls even though he was wearing tights.”

The boys bursted in laughter after you finished. Bucky slapped a hand over his stomach and doubled over laughing.

“What?” you asked.

Your answer was unanswered when you heard someone call your name for the second time today. You turned around to see Steve, but it wasn’t your Steve.

He was more than a foot taller, and he was all muscles. He was wearing his uniform, which was blue with red and white decorations. It was like Captain America’s but more subtle. Realization drew on your face. Your Steve Rogers was Captain America.

You slowly walked up to him, placing your hand on his cheek. You had to reach up in order to caress his cheek. “Steve,” you said glancing up and down his new profound body. “Is that you?”

Steve chuckled. “Yeah it’s me, Y/N.”

“You’re Captain America?” you asked, placing your palms on his chest.

“It’s a long story,” he answered, placing his hands on your waist.

“You’ll always be Steve Rogers to me,” you responded, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I missed you Steve.”

“I missed you too Y/N,” Steve said. “I see you still have my ring. I was worried you would move on to a different guy.”

“I only have eyes for you Captain,” you flirted, leaning in slowly. Steve gladly met your lips, meeting you in a passionate kiss.

You two immediately broke off when you heard catcalls and whistles. You both turned with a blush creeping up your faces. You spent the rest of the night hanging out with Steve and Bucky, catching up on each other’s life. Though you didn’t have much to tell them about, they had loads to tell you. You learned what has happened since they joined the army, and you couldn’t be more proud.

You also got to hang out with the Howling Commandos. They were such a crew, and you loved hanging out with them. You also got to talk to Peggy again. It was mostly her teaching you how to do different hairdos with ease.

At night, you got to sleep in Steve’s tent. It was so relieving to have Steve next to you again. Nights without each other were hard, so you both fell asleep with ease. In the morning, Steve had to go to a meeting for an upcoming meeting, so you had the time to hang out with Bucky. When you got Bucky’s tent, he was still asleep.

You were about to crawl into his bed with him, when you realized a sheer cover of sweat on his forehead. His eyes were closed, though you could see they were frantically moving around. His fists were clenched, and his breathing was rapid and hollow.

You walked over to the side of his bed and placed your hand on his cheek palm up. “Bucky,” you whispered. “Honey, wake up.”

Bucky shot up from his bed, eyes bloodshot, breathing heavily. “Bucky,” you comforted, rubbing his lower back with your hand. “It’s okay. It was just a dream.”

Bucky jerked his head to your direction. Once he saw it was just you and where he was, he released a long breath and tried to control his rapid breathing.

“Are you okay?” you questioned.

Bucky wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine Y/N.”

You glowered at Bucky. “Bucky,” you whined. “Come on.”

Bucky gave you a side glance, then huffed his chest. “Promise me you won’t tell Steve.”

You gave him a nod. Bucky took in a breath. “During my time in HYDRA, they… experimented on me.”

Your heart broke. He continued, “Scientists would inject me with different serums, trying to copy the super-serum Steve received. The pain was excruciating, and I thought it would never end. Every time I close my eyes, I’m back in that cell, strapped on that table.”

“I’m so sorry that you had to go through that,” you apologized. “I am internally grateful that you are here with me right now. I don’t know if I can live without you two. Those four months were hell for me, not knowing where you and Steve were. How you were doing… But can I ask, why didn’t you tell Steve?”

Bucky sighed. “My whole life, I took care of Steve. I was the one who had to act strong for him, but now, the roles have reversed. I’m not used to that.”

“Yeah,” you responded. “It’s going to take awhile for me to get used to it.”

Bucky quipped, “Yeah, but you get all the perks if you know what I mean.” His eyebrows waggled.

You smacked him on his chest. “Bucky,” you exclaimed.

He fell into a fit of laughter, and you couldn’t help but join him. After the laughter died down, you said, “Bucky, if you ever need me, I’m here for you. I hope you know that.”

You looked at him to see that he was staring off at nothingness. “Are you going to be okay?”

“I will be. I have to be. Even though Steve isn’t so little anymore, I’m still going to be strong for the two of you.” He turned to face you.

You gave him a small smile. You leaned onto him, hugging his arm. You guys stayed like that, trying to be there for one another.

* * *

Your stay eventually had to come to an end. You had to say goodbye again to your boys, but this time, it wasn’t so hard, knowing that they were in good hands. As long as they had each other, you were confident that they can survive anything.

You came back home in a better mood. You did have to go back to work, but you actually tried to socialize with others. The boys made you promise you wouldn’t go back to your hermit ways.

You listened to the radio for updates on the war like everyone else.

_Captain America and his Howling Commandos invade and destroy a HYDRA facility in France._

_Captain America and his Howling Commandos invade and destroy a HYDRA facility in Belgium._

_Captain America and his Howling Commandos invade and destroy a HYDRA facility in Czechoslovakia._

You couldn’t be more proud of your boys. But honestly, you can’t wait ‘til the war is over, so your boys can come home.


	10. Chapter Nine

“Nonono, please no.” You whimpered as you read the letter. You couldn’t even read the whole thing, you just saw the words ‘Steven Grant Rogers’, ‘James Buchanan Barnes’, ‘missing’, and ‘presumed dead’ before you dissolved into tears.  

You put the letter on the table, walking into your bedroom and grabbing an old jacket of Steve’s from your closet. You slid it on before collapsing onto your bed, sobs wracking your body.

What were you supposed to do now?

You breathed in the small amount of Steve’s scent still on the jacket, idly twisting the ring on your left hand.

You cried so hard. You haven’t cried this hard since your parents died. Oddly enough, you were brought back to your time at your old house. It was obviously vacant for it looked like an abandoned building. It was currently 2016.

You cried for another 5 hours, and you fell asleep on the floor due to how exhausted you were.

It was around 9am, but you didn’t feel like getting up. That’s when you heard a knock at your door. Who the heck would knock on the door? No one even lived here.You opened the door to find three agents in black suits. On their suit was a badge labeling “S.H.I.E.L.D.”

A middle-aged man in a black suit and shades greeted, “Hello ma’am. My name is Agent Coulson. We need you to come with us.” He had a courteous smile on his lips, but you couldn’t tell if the smile was true with his sunglasses covering his eyes. These men can be dangerous. How were you to know if you could trust them?

Then again, what did you have left in this world? Everyone you loved were dead. There was nothing left for you. Tears continued to fall on your cheeks. “Are you the people who killed my parents?” you whispered while looking down at your feet.

Agent Coulson took off his glasses. It did help though. He looked more sincere. You could see the smile reaching his eyes. “No ma’am. We are here to help,” he stated.

You sniffed and swiped the tears from your cheek. “Where are we going?” you asked. Not that this information was going to help. You knew 1940s Brooklyn, but not 2016 Brooklyn.

“SHIELD headquarters. We have a proposition for you that can help you control your powers and protect you from HYDRA.” This information intrigued you. Though you had full control of your powers, you knew that you never pushed your powers to their full potential. Plus, you needed protection from HYDRA; they were the men who took all your loved ones away.

You didn’t know if you could fully trust them, but you had nobody and nowhere else to go. You nodded while putting Steve’s jacket on. They led you to a black SUV, and you ventured off to SHIELD headquarters.

____________________

You were still used to the 40s, so you were shocked when you arrived at SHIELD headquarters to see all kinds of new technology. As you were following Agent Coulson, other agents were running to and from places. This place was super busy; it was almost overwhelming.

“This way, ma’am,” Agent Coulson announced. He opened a door and politely let you in first. In the room sat a man decked in all black and was wearing a eye-patch. He had a very intimidating demeanor, making you nervous to the core.

“Welcome to SHIELD Mrs. L/N,” the man greeted. It was weird hearing your last name, having an alias for so long.

“Thank you…,” you said, not knowing you were thanking. He looked like he was the man in charge. He definitely had the stance of a leader.

“Director Fury,” he greeted. You nodded in response.

“Please sit,” Fury said, while gesturing to the open seat in front of his desk. You were a bit hesitate, having to be in a closer proximity towards the terrifying man. But your manners got the best of you, and you sat in the chair. We sat in an anxious silence. You began to wonder if this place was really going to protect and help you.

You broke the silence. “Are you going to dissect me?”

Director Fury chuckled. Even when laughing, the man looked menacing. “As you know, we know a lot about your powers. It seems that you are not used to this time period.”

You responded with a nod. “Well, here,” Fury continued. “SHIELD is [United States](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fmarvelcinematicuniverse.wikia.com%2Fwiki%2FUnited_States_of_America&t=NDZmMGEwZmFhYTg3NjRhOTlkNzU0ODQ3YmYxYmVlZjI5ZjBjODMyYixIeUtUeHJQRA%3D%3D&b=t%3AncyQtnKttVksXvyxbBgq3A&p=http%3A%2F%2Favengersandchill.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F140595262075%2Fwe-cant-series-910&m=1) extra-governmental military counter-terrorism and intelligence agency founded during WWII to protect the nation from [HYDRA](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fmarvelcinematicuniverse.wikia.com%2Fwiki%2FHYDRA&t=Y2EwOWIxMDc0MTc4NTdiMmE3MDU1M2MzNzQ1OTExMjdhZjY1NzEyOCxIeUtUeHJQRA%3D%3D&b=t%3AncyQtnKttVksXvyxbBgq3A&p=http%3A%2F%2Favengersandchill.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F140595262075%2Fwe-cant-series-910&m=1) in [World War II](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fmarvelcinematicuniverse.wikia.com%2Fwiki%2FWorld_War_II&t=ZDUwMmViMjcxMjIwNjFjNjE3MWVlZjM5NTQ4OWRiNGE1Y2RjYWJjZCxIeUtUeHJQRA%3D%3D&b=t%3AncyQtnKttVksXvyxbBgq3A&p=http%3A%2F%2Favengersandchill.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F140595262075%2Fwe-cant-series-910&m=1). S.H.I.E.L.D. was organized to protect the United States, and later the entire world, from all possible threats.”

You tried to process everything he was saying. So much has happened since the 1940s, and you couldn’t tell if it was for the better or worse. It was nice to hear there are others like you. 1940s was as open to diversity. “What does this have to do with me?” you asked, fiddling with the fabric of your dress.

“We have a team, known as the Avengers, that are very much like you. They use their enhancements to ensure the safety of the world. This is where you come in. You can spend the next few weeks with Avengers to train and learn to control your powers. In the end, you can choose whether you would like to become part of the Avengers Initiative or leave and have a normal life. Sounds good?”

Things were happening so fast. Not even 24 hours ago, you lost your boys and were in decades in the past. Now, you had nothing and no one. You couldn’t go back to the 40s, having the lingering feeling of your loss of Steve and Bucky. You couldn’t go into the future, for you were having a hard time adjusting to this time period- let alone more into the future. You were twirling your ring on your finger while making your mind. Bucky and Steve would’ve wanted you to do good.

“Okay,” you said, knowing you can’t go back.


	11. Chapter Ten

You were on your way to the Avengers Tower. Agent Coulson was driving you across New York City. As you were traveling, you looked out your window in awe. New York changed so much since back then. There were more skyscrapers and people were scattered on the streets in clothing that made your clothes look retro. A lot of them were holding some sort of device in their hands, talking into or gawking at them. You knew that if you stayed, you would have to adjust. It made you nervous. You clutched onto Steve’s jacket even more.

Next thing you noticed was a jaw-dropping skyscraper that was taller than any other building in the area. The car went into the building’s garage. You guessed this is the place. “We’re here.” Phil exited the car.

You stepped out of the car and followed him to the elevator. “Are you nervous?” he asked, trying to make small talk. You didn’t even realize what you were getting yourself into, and now, it was hitting you like a stack of bricks. What did Director Fury mean when he said that these people had enhancements?

“A little.”

“Don’t be. They are really friendly. I was more nervous than you, but I guess it’s because I actually knew the superheroes before met them.”

You chuckled at this. It lightened the mood. The elevator was still ascending. Damn, this building was tall. “Superheroes, huh? Back then, the only superheroes we had were the soldiers that went to war.”

“Boy are you in for a surprise.” Well, he wasn’t wrong. Actually, this was the understatement of the year. The elevator finally reached its destination. You and Phil stepped out of the elevator.

You were greeted by a brunette male. He had a charming smile on his face and a glass in hand. He wore a shirt that stated ‘Black Sabbath’ that held a man with a mask on it.  _Was ‘Black Sabbath’ one of the superheroes?_

“Hi there sweetheart,” he greeted. “Name’s Tony Stark.” He held out a hand.

“Wait, like Howard Stark?” you asked.

Dropping his hand, he informed, “My father.” He took a gulp of the amber-colored liquid.

“I went to one of his events,” you responded. “Y/N. Y/N L/N.”

Tony smiled. “I know who you are sweetheart.”  _Again with the nickname._  “SHIELD has been keeping an eye out on your for a while. Though, you were only eight just maybe a week ago. Seeing where you are now, we thought we should bring you in.”

You nodded, still intaking the new information. It was only a week again when your parents sacrificed themselves.

“With your powers,” he continued. “you can be a great addition to our team.”

“I haven’t practiced my powers at all. I’m surprised I came back to the same time I left.”

“That’s where we can help you,” Agent Coulson added.

“The others don’t know about your arrival,” Tony started. “But I’m sure they will be more than welcoming. Shall we?” Tony held a hand out, directing down the hallway.

You didn’t know what was going on, but you followed him anyways. Everything was happening too fast, and it was hard to process it all. You were nearing the end of the hall. It held a large room with glass walls, where you can see the view of New York. There were a handful of people, hanging around the room. Boy, they were good-looking. Is that a requirement to be a superhero?

You suddenly felt self-conscious. You were still wearing your old-fashioned clothing. Your hair was still in a 40s updo, but it was messy with strands sticking out. You hoped that your mascara wasn’t smeared, but you remembered that your tears probably wiped it away. Your numbness started to disintegrate, and butterflies started to erupt in your stomach.

“Guys,” Tony announced. “This is our new addition to our team. Meet-”

“Y/N?” a familiar voice said. A voice that will haunt you forever. Your head jerked to the direction of the voice to see Steve. Again, your eyes were greeted to a new Steve. He seemed more worn in. His eyes were tired, as if he has seen the world.

You thought you would never see this face again. Your eyes immediately started filling with tears. “Steve?” you uttered.

You ran towards him, as he met you halfway. You leaped towards him, wrapping your arms around him. You tried to hold back your tears, tucking your head into his neck.

“Do I get a hug?” You would recognize that voice anywhere. Your head snapped up to see Bucky. He had a stubble, and his hair was long. He had a smile on his face. The wrinkles on his face looked unused, as if he hasn’t smiled in long time.

You let the tears fall on your cheek. “Bucky!” you exclaimed. You attacked him in a hug. Your tears wetting the skin on his neck. You missed the comfort of his embrace, so when he wrapped his arms around your waist, you felt the difference in one. It felt more stiff, and it didn’t hold the warmth of Bucky.

You pulled back to see his metallic arm. When he saw you gawking at it, his smile faded. You looked up to see his jaw clenched. He watched you as you grabbed his hand. He looked up to see you giving him a comforting smile, and he smiled back.

You heard someone clear their throat. You completely forgot that you had a room full of people, and they weren’t just people. They were ‘superheroes’.

“Can someone please explain?” a man with a band-aid on the side of his face. He was looking at the spectacle, forgetting about the mug of coffee in his hand.

“This is our new addition to our team,” Tony added, confused as well of the reunion taking place in the middle of his common room.

“TEAM?!” Bucky and Steve exclaimed.

“No way,” Steve stated. “Y/N. As your fiance, I forbid you to join.”

“FIANCE?!” the room exclaimed.

All of a sudden, all eyes were on you. You stated, “Don’t look at me. I was just eight years old not even a week ago.”

“I like her,” a redhead muttered.

The room sat in silence for a second, still wanting answers. You sighed, “Which one should I explain first?”

“How were you only eight a week ago?!” Bucky exclaimed.

“Well, that answers my question,” you exasperated. “I may or may not have… enhanced abilities that let me manipulate time.”

“And you never told us?” Steve asked. “Why?”

“My parents already sacrificed themselves for me. I didn’t need anyone else who I love to die for me. So I kept it hidden.”

“May we it in action?” a man with glasses and shaggy black hair said. He was fiddling with his hands, as if he was uncomfortable with his current existence.

“Sure. Though, I still don’t have a grasp on it,” you stated. You went up to Tony and held up a hand. “May I?” you asked, gesturing to his glass.

“Be my guest,” Tony smirked.

You grabbed the glass from his hand, then faced a direction where everyone can see you. You then suddenly let go of the glass. Everyone silently gasped, as they watched the expensive glass fall to the ground. But mid-fall, you stopped the glass, and it was suspended in mid-air.

You then bent down to grab the glass. You explained, “Again, I haven’t mastered my powers yet. I only know how to do that and travel in vast amounts of time.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Sam interrupted. “I want to know why Cap here never told us he had a fiance.”

“Wasn’t necessary,” Steve said. “I, for one, never thought I would ever see her again; let alone still have the chance to marry her.”

“How did this old man get such a lovely lady like you?” Pietro said with a smirk.

**“Well,…” you started.**


End file.
